It's giving main character

Straight out of the gates, I will hold my hands up and acknowledge that the phrase ‘main character energy’ sounds kind of ridiculous and feels very Gen Z, trendy, and abstract - saying something but nothing at the same time. But the wider concept of feeling like the ‘main character’ in your life - in other words, valuing yourself and honouring your power and worth - is something that really resonates with me, and has helped me gain perspective on issues that have cropped up and caused me pain.


My learnings on this particular topic stem from a situation that happened in the last year which had me feeling really down, anxious, and insecure in myself. It dogged my thoughts for months - sometimes it was all I could do not to ruminate on it all day. It was the first thing I thought of every morning, like a thick, grey cloud that settled over my head for the day and never left; the sun might peep through here and there in flashes but that was it. Overall, life was gloomy and I didn’t allow myself to see much joy in it, as I was spending so much time bogged down by all the shoulda-woulda-couldas from that awful situation.


It was while I was in my car driving to a concert a few months later that it hit me. Here I am living my best life in Dubai - travelling, playing in a band, meeting new people all the time, challenging myself in both my professional and personal pursuits - yet I am letting these people and this situation (which are outside my control) take the main role in my life while I dawdle sidestage, flapping and feeling negative, as if it is not my name up in lights outside the theatre.



Linking back to my previous post on affirmations, it was only by repeatedly uttering to myself “I am the main character in my life”, which I wrote on my kitchen whiteboard as a visual reminder, that I began to step into this feeling of empowerment. Life doesn’t just happen to me, I happen to it. Main character girlies do not spend 75% of the movie wallowing in regret and sorrow. They have their moment of sadness and rumination, yes, but dust themselves off and move towards creating the next plot point. Oftentimes when we don’t nurture our own self-esteem, or we allow a negative self-image to fester and grow out of proportion, we tend to put others on pedestals as a result, and relegate ourselves to understudy. There are a number of ways you can begin to foster more robust self-esteem, but consider starting with one of the best books on self-help I have ever read which came to me highly recommended: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden.


I write this blog post fully aware that there are people out there who are bound by extraneous circumstances which make the adoption of this mindset far more difficult, whether it’s poverty, illness, abusive relationships, trauma/grief, etc. So my take-home from this would simply be to try stepping into your main-character energy in whatever capacity you can, no matter how small that may be: riding the bus, running errands, doing housework, whatever. Being the main character means putting your peace at the top of your priorities list, and tapping into your autonomy where you can, so try to snatch some of that for yourself where possible. You deserve it, even if you don’t realise it yet.

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