Keeping up appearances
(I would like to preface this opinion piece by stating simply that: this is my opinion, on what is clearly a sensitive and nuanced issue, and it is subject to change as I change. My intention is never to preach, to hurt, or to make anyone feel bad, and I hope I can address this particular topic with sensitivity and respect. After you read this blog post, I would be more than happy to engage in conversation with you should you wish to discuss any point in further detail.)
The idea for this post was sparked by a conversation I had recently with a group of friends in which the topic of cosmetic surgery was mentioned. Not gonna lie - I was a bit taken aback as the conversation continued and I discovered just how polarised our opinions were. I personally don’t feel any draw towards lip fillers, Botox or anything of the sort, but I support bodily autonomy and everyone’s right to choose. That said, it made me wonder why we as a society are so taken up with physical appearance and what this fixation does to us mentally and emotionally.
Obviously, no-one is saying you shouldn’t want to look cute. I love looking cute. A trip to the hairdresser’s (especially these days) is as good for the soul as a day spent in nature. When I decide to put on makeup, I am enthralled by the whole process of it and how different techniques and products can alter my appearance for the better. People who graft for months at the gym or go out running in the mornings are sure to be pleased when they see their healthier, fitter reflection looking back at them. But can we become addicted to wanting to look gorgeous? Or, at least, what society deems as gorgeous?
With Love Island being beamed into our living rooms 5 nights a week, it feels timely to address this issue too. Many categorise their interest in Love Island as a guilty pleasure (or at least I do, anyway), because while I love getting caught up in all the drama and scrolling through the hilarious memes night after night, I experience massive cognitive dissonance throughout the whole process too. We buy into the notion that appearance as seen on Love Island is the ideal, even though we know it is fake.
Are people who pay for cosmetic surgery genuinely more content in life? I cannot answer that myself, but people to whom I have spoken about this seem not to have any regrets with their own decisions, so at least that. Speaking personally, how I felt when I looked in the mirror as a teenager vs in my 20s has fluctuated, which I'm sure is down to many different factors, but I have never been more accepting of my appearance as I am now, at the age of 27. While I have always exercised and tried to eat a healthy diet, this change in perception has coincided, not with a bump on the head à-la-Trainwreck, but with a huge surge of self-reflection, development, and meditation, and this, I believe, can be the difference. Reading about self-esteem in Nathaniel Branden’s acclaimed book completely transformed how I appraise myself and others. By working on myself mentally and emotionally, I have given myself the space and the capacity to appreciate myself physically, and this is something I think we should all keep in mind. Our characters and our commitment to making ourselves better from the inside out are what should truly matter, and no amount of serums or cosmetic procedures could give off the glow that personal fulfilment bestows. However, I understand that, for some people, working from the outside-in can lead to the same effect, so long as we exercise compassion and patience with ourselves. Accepting does not equate to liking, it simply means that we are acknowledging what is, and this can be a great jumping-off point in our self-development journeys.
The idea for this post was sparked by a conversation I had recently with a group of friends in which the topic of cosmetic surgery was mentioned. Not gonna lie - I was a bit taken aback as the conversation continued and I discovered just how polarised our opinions were. I personally don’t feel any draw towards lip fillers, Botox or anything of the sort, but I support bodily autonomy and everyone’s right to choose. That said, it made me wonder why we as a society are so taken up with physical appearance and what this fixation does to us mentally and emotionally.
Obviously, no-one is saying you shouldn’t want to look cute. I love looking cute. A trip to the hairdresser’s (especially these days) is as good for the soul as a day spent in nature. When I decide to put on makeup, I am enthralled by the whole process of it and how different techniques and products can alter my appearance for the better. People who graft for months at the gym or go out running in the mornings are sure to be pleased when they see their healthier, fitter reflection looking back at them. But can we become addicted to wanting to look gorgeous? Or, at least, what society deems as gorgeous?
With Love Island being beamed into our living rooms 5 nights a week, it feels timely to address this issue too. Many categorise their interest in Love Island as a guilty pleasure (or at least I do, anyway), because while I love getting caught up in all the drama and scrolling through the hilarious memes night after night, I experience massive cognitive dissonance throughout the whole process too. We buy into the notion that appearance as seen on Love Island is the ideal, even though we know it is fake.
Are people who pay for cosmetic surgery genuinely more content in life? I cannot answer that myself, but people to whom I have spoken about this seem not to have any regrets with their own decisions, so at least that. Speaking personally, how I felt when I looked in the mirror as a teenager vs in my 20s has fluctuated, which I'm sure is down to many different factors, but I have never been more accepting of my appearance as I am now, at the age of 27. While I have always exercised and tried to eat a healthy diet, this change in perception has coincided, not with a bump on the head à-la-Trainwreck, but with a huge surge of self-reflection, development, and meditation, and this, I believe, can be the difference. Reading about self-esteem in Nathaniel Branden’s acclaimed book completely transformed how I appraise myself and others. By working on myself mentally and emotionally, I have given myself the space and the capacity to appreciate myself physically, and this is something I think we should all keep in mind. Our characters and our commitment to making ourselves better from the inside out are what should truly matter, and no amount of serums or cosmetic procedures could give off the glow that personal fulfilment bestows. However, I understand that, for some people, working from the outside-in can lead to the same effect, so long as we exercise compassion and patience with ourselves. Accepting does not equate to liking, it simply means that we are acknowledging what is, and this can be a great jumping-off point in our self-development journeys.
To sum up, appearance isn’t everything. The legacy we leave behind is not how aesthetically beautiful we were but what we said and did and how we made other people feel. In my opinion, we should be spending more of our time and energy developing ourselves as individuals, and learning about the world. And if we want to do that with perfectly shaped eyebrows and a rock-hard six-pack, that is absolutely grand.
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