Thoughts on thoughts

Since this is the first proper, deep-dive blog post on here, I figured it should be centred on a concept I will come to refer to time and time again, a basic principle that I want you to understand, so that if, for whatever reason, you choose not to continue this journey with me, you at least have this one building block that may hopefully serve you.

So in the end, I decided to go with that exact idea: the building blocks of our mind - thoughts.

If there is anything that baffles me about the human psyche, it is the notion of having thoughts, and the idea that, for vast quantities of our lives, we are totally inept at dealing with these thoughts. For me, identifying and grappling with my thoughts has brought me copious amounts of peace, even though it may not have seemed like it in the moment.


“Damn, these jeans got me looking snatched today, only weak for myself so I am.”

“Nope, she hates me, she ABSOLUTELY hates me, I’ve really put my foot in it now.”

“Not a hope am I going in there on my own, I’d rather die.”

“Did I leave the immersion on? Oh, I’ll be killed.”


What these utterances all have in common is that they are thoughts. But thoughts don’t show up to the party alone; they bring a plus-one, and that’s emotion, or feeling. As you can probably infer from my aforementioned examples, some thoughts are great; they make us feel class. Nothing else seems to matter, because right now there’s a full-on celebration happening in our psyche. Thoughts that have a positive connotation generally don’t get as much air-time though, because we tend not to think of them as adding to productivity or propelling us towards anything of immediate value.


“How does clapping myself on the back for the great work I put down last week help me to get next week’s report done on time?”

“Yes we won that match but I played absolutely shockingly and missed so many opportunities.”

“I don’t have time to sit down for a cup of tea right now because the place needs to be hoovered from top to bottom.”


Anything who knows a thing or two about the cavemen will understand that being on high alert for danger in the immediate environment was key to survival. The evolutionary brain prioritised negative or threatening stimuli in case there was a sudden need to run for one’s life. Unfortunately, though we are now far from the Paleolithic hunting plains, our minds, unless trained out of it, still tend to be drawn towards the bad over the good (so enjoy that cuppa, because the hoovering is not that urgent).

Negative thoughts like those mentioned above play on our minds all day long, causing us to tense up and distract us from the present, to the point where we are so preoccupied we cannot even recall other events in our day. Years ago, on a Friday, I received a note from a parent that irritated me. I was so consumed by my frustration toward this parent and what they said, that on my 2-and-a-half hour drive back to Kerry that evening, I honestly could not have told you about one thing I passed on the way home. There could have been a circus troupe of pink elephants on unicycles in the last town I drove through and I would not have even noticed, so much so was my mind focused on replaying the words of the note over and over again.

No-one else, nor their behaviour, has the right to live rent-free in your head. Mulling over what was on that note served absolutely no purpose. It was a Friday - I could not meet that parent nor deal with their query until the following Monday, at the earliest. This was meant to be the happiest time of my week, driving home after a hard day’s work, listening to my podcasts and soaking up the countryside of north Cork and west Limerick, but I robbed myself of that peace, because I let the ticker tape of negative thoughts run amok instead. It was only when I realised how hard I was gripping the steering wheel that I had let my annoyance fester, and needed to try focusing on something more positive instead.

A thought is just that: a thought. It is not a death sentence, nor is it a get-out-of-jail-free card. A thought does not have to colour our whole day, or our entire interaction with someone or something. Stopping a thought in its tracks and giving it the once-over can help deal with it efficiently and restore some mental peace. Ask yourself: ‘What is this thought? Where did it come from? What am I feeling in my body right now? Is there something I can do in the immediate future to reduce the hold it has on me? If yes, what is it? If not, can I have my mind back in the meantime to focus on something more positive?’

As someone who has struggled in the past with thinking positively, let me state how fully aware I am of the fact that entertaining happy thoughts is not as easy as flicking a switch, and I do not intend on portraying it as such. There are techniques for positive thinking which can be learned, and practiced, and adapted from person to person, and day to day, until we each find a few that fit our lives best. These techniques I plan to get stuck into in later posts, but until then, I invite you to spend some time thinking about your thoughts.


*cue low-key mind explosion*

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